Total Drama Funny
by tdihorror
Summary: TDL Rated T, kids if your parents tell you not to, or if your not rated T, read anyway
1. Bikini Boys

Total drama funny- funniest season yet, funnier then the show, clowns and that man with a balloon handing them out to little kids for candy.

Author's note- I do not own Total Drama Island or the characters used I do not own anything that is copyrighted and I am writing this for my and the readers entertainment

Chapter One:

Chris: "Welcome to the 54th season of the total drama series! This time Trent, Owen Albaloni, Duncan, Beth, Chef, the total drama machine, DJ, Gwen or Sadie will NOT win. It will probably be Eva or Brainzilla, maybe even that Intern who was eaten by the shark. We wont know until I rig the competition for someone I haven't sexually harassed yet, probably Noah, he had sexy arms" *Owen whistles from behind Chris's life sized Sexual harassment Panda doll* "Hey! Quite you!" "Sorry" Owen shouts at Chris. Spitting two pounds of meat. *Chris wipes it off* "Who will win… Total Drama Funny!"

*Theme song starts then Chef interrupts* "I had to listen 53 of these and one of them is enough to make me go crazy! We are skipping the song this season!" *Song fades out*

Chris: "Okay fine. So campers as you arrived two months ago- Heather cuts him off "We have had nothing to eat but tree bark and the rats in that intern's house!" "SHUT IT" Chris screams "Next person to talk before I'm finished is on the boat of losers and goes to the whirlpool of death! Got it?" "I do!" Katie shouts with pleasure "Me too me too" Sadie excitingly shrieks. *Chef drags them throws them in the boat and sets it on fire* "Eeeeeeee" Sadie were on fire! "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" both morons scream and dance while being consumed in the burning boat. "What happened to the- *Chef grabs Sierra and takes her into a cave* *Thumping, moaning and screams of pain are being heard out of it* "Good we've caught on, Now this season there are No teams, No reward challenges and NO bathroom breaks!" *Cast keeps silent* I'm glad your all excited about me winning an Emmy" *cast stays silent* "Cheer or you all go home" *Cast cheers, Ezekiel screams like a little girl* "Good! Now all of you will get first-class meals and stay in a comfy room, all except Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold and Eva that is." "Why not us?" Eva screams "Because you all TALK TOO MUCH! And Chef pick up our next reject!" *Chef grabs Eva and throws her in the water, shark fin is seen near by*

"Now the first challenge…" Chris takes a random pause "All boys into Bikinis! Now" *All the girls giggle while the boys complain*

*Harold, Tyler Ezekiel, Noah, Justin and Cody walk out hiding there faces, Owen dances out* "I feel so free!" He starts to sing"

"Hey!" Cody starts annoyed "Why are Trent, Geoff, Duncan, DJ Al-whatever and Heather not in Bikinis!" *The other boys look at them* "Well Trent, Geoff and DJ said no, and Duncan and Heather know where I live so… they don't have to!" "Okay challenge over, Justin your out you look the worst goodbye!"

"Wait what!" "Why are we in these things!" Justin screams

"Because I wanted to see who looked the best and it definitely is Owen" Chris says pushing him into Chef's cave. *More moans and rattles are heard*

Join us next time on Total Drama Funny!


	2. Owen's Wonderful Breakfast Of Vomit

Total Drama Funny

Chapter 2

Last time on Total Drama Funny Chef made two campers lose there virginity, Justin, Katie, Sadie and Eva were eliminated and the challenge embarrassed everyone who did it… Owen looked sexy…. Who will be eliminated next on Total Drama Funny!

*Theme song starts*

Chris watch's Owen get hit in the face with a pie

"Oh Hell No I said NO theme song!" *Chef comes and tears screen up with chainsaw*

"You got a problem then change the channel!" Chef screams

"No wait! That will get me fired! Just keep watching I don't care what the hell you thing maggots now give me twenty laps around your block and for the fat ones, your city!"

"What boring challenges awaits us today" Trent yawns as he stretches.

*Trent almost steps in Owens vomit then swiftly takes a bag, scoops it and takes it with him*

"This bites" Duncan says staring angrily at a picture of scruffy. "So uhh… When do we get a potty break?" Owen asks more confused then Lindsay at a 20% off clothes sale

"Don't you remember Owen?" Sierra says through the window "We don't get any" She says then quickly squats as Cody walks by. "Sierra what the hell are you doing there?" Trent, Geoff and Chris say in occasion. "Its illegal to spy" -Trent and Geoff start- "Your supposed to be giving chef a Blo"- Chris stops- "I mean its illegal to spy on Cody, even though you saw me peaking at Lindsay in the showers" Chris finishes and walks away nervously. "ALL CAMPERS" The microphone screeches "To the mess hall NOW!" It continues.

*At mess hall*

"What the hell does he want with us, its not a challenge day" Gwen yells across the room to Duncan who smiles and waves like an 8 year old back at her.

*Confessional*

Trent: I'm not letting him get away with this"

Duncan "When I did that sexy smile Gwen giggled like she was in love with me"

Noah: "When I winked my eye at Chef, Gwen totally giggled she must be into me!"

Gwen: "Wow this is the first time I've talked on camera, the producers must hate me, anyway is it me or are Duncan and Noah crushing on me more then usual, I had something in my nose so I blew it with a tissue"

Izzy: "Boom Boom! ehehehhehehehheh"

*Confessional ends*

"Okay why did the confessional just explode of toilet water?" Chris asks with a puzzled expression.

Izzy: "Boom!"

Chris: "okay…" *Chris steps back then the other campers except Owen step back while Owen "leaps" or almost faints forward*

"Anyway today's challenge is to eat the most" Chris pauses "And whoever finishes first wins invincibility and a phone call home."

*As the contestants are blindfolded Trent sneaks some of Owens vomit in all of the contestants except his food*

Chris: "Ready? Set! Eat!" *All competitors start eating immediately*

"mmmmm this is.. So good!" Owen says gulping down his food "Hey Geoff can I have yours?" Before Geoff answers Owen takes his, Heathers and Harold's food and stuffs it down his throat then takes Gwen's and puts it in his pocket for later.

*Trent, Duncan, Courtney, Ezekiel and DJ who secretly added his spice to his finish eating*

*Confessional*

Trent *leaves note for Owen* "I cant wait for my "surprise" to come back up there throats"

Duncan: "What the hell is this?" Duncan grabs the note and vomits running out of the confessional screaming "He's so dead!"

*Confessional ends*

"Okay the challenge goes to Owen for eating the most food, even though most of which wasn't his" Chris says pissed off.

"Chris look at this!" Duncan screams *Chris takes a look and almost vomits* "It's worse then that picture of Noah on his fan site!" *Campers and Chef awkwardly look at Chris* "Hey I'm not the only one who looks at it…" *Glares across the room making several campers and chef look down in guilt*

"Okay apparently someone OWEN vomited in the food that everyone ate" *Everyone except Owen who first continues chewing the leftovers in his pockets instantly vomits then takes another bite*

Chris: "Okay Owen you're supposed to be safe but that was so gross I'm kicking your fat ass off the island, it will lower the total weight of the campers and the scale will be 600 pounds less then it is right now"

Alejandro: "Let me off this island" He says AFTER jumping into the shark infested water.

Gwen: "Hey Cody I know you have a weak stomach but everyone else is done vomiting"

Cody: "I stopped vomiting about that, now it's the pictures Sierra's sending me of her"

*Cody shows Gwen and the other lookers about Sierra in her bathing suit*

Chris: We gotta go I gotta go to my cabin, alone Bye for now!"


	3. Good Zeke Shooting

Chris: "Last time on Total Drama Funny, A surprise vote off left Noah and What's her ugly face leaving us and Noah revealed something him and Geoff had, an alliance? A relationship? Find out here on Total Drama Funny!

*Theme Song Plays*

Izzy: "No!" "I Promised Chef!" "No Theme songs!"

Chef (In confessional) "That a girl!"

Chris: "Fine sheash! Your worse then my Mom!"

Chris: "All to the mess hall, if you talk your out!"

DJ: "He can't hear us talk, its- *Chef Grabs DJ and throws him into the cave*

Chris: "Trent, Sierra, Geoff, Bridgette, Gwen, Duncan and Courtney with me!"

Courtney: "Give me an explanation!" "I'm a C.I.T!"

Duncan: "Courtney how many times have you said that and that people gave a ****!"

Courtney:

Duncan: "None! So don't talk just shut up!"

Courtney:

Duncan: "You're so friggin loud!"

Chris: "Agreed!" "Courtney you're off for being so loud!"

Courtney:

Chris: "Be gone!"

Courtney: "**** you All! I hope I never ******** see any of you again!"

Courtney: "Except you Trent, You probably understand me best out of these assholes."

Trent: "Courtney go **** yourself"

*Courtney is last seen in front of Chefs cave*

Chris: "Okay the challenge is to shoot the life sized doll of Ezekiel"

Chris: "Points are given on specific spots that are hit"

*Challenge goes on*

*Geoff hits him in the neck*

*Sierra ignores the challenge and follows Cody the showers*

*Bridgette hits him in the eye*

*Duncan hits him in the Nuts*  
Duncan: "Nailed him!"

Ezekiel: "!"

Chris: "Unfortunately that was the real one…"

*Ambulance takes Ezekiel away*

*Trent nails the dummy in the mouth*

Chris: "Why in the mouth?"

Trent: "He talks WAY to much for me"

Chris: "True that!" *They fist bump*  
*Gwen hits hers in the center of the forehead*  
Chef: "You all stink at this!" "Chris give me a shot at him!"

Chris: "Were out of Zeke dolls but we have those left over Princess Courtney and Beth life sized open-mouthed dolls"

*Campers stare at them*  
*Chef takes a Courtney doll and runs into the cave*

Chris: "The person with the best shot: Gwen" "Worst shot, Duncan, if we didn't have those eliminations earlier you would have been out bro"

Duncan: "Sierra didn't even take a shot!"

Chris: "You still had the worse shot dude"

Duncan: "Whatever"

*Episode ends*


	4. Compliments To The Chris

Chris: "Last time on Total Drama Funny, DJ was taken the cave, Courtney talked way too much and Zeke got shot in the nuts by Duncan who made the show 63% more quieter thanks to there eliminations. What will happen next? Find out here on Total Drama Funny!

*Theme song plays*  
*Theme song is about to end*  
Chris: "Where's Chef ending the theme song?"

Intern: "He left a note"

*Chris reads note*

Chris: "K I'll do it"

*Chris walks away then sets fire to theme song set*

*Theme song ends*

Chris: "All campers time for an all out challenge, worse two scores get a one way ticket home!"

Chris: "Today's challenge is complementing me please start."

Duncan: "You talk less then Courtney!"

Cody: "I like your shoes"

Lindsay: "I like your shoes more!"

Heather: "You're not a complete asshole"

Chris: "Aww thanks Heather that's a lot coming from you!"

Heather: "Shut up!"

Chef: "You're so hot Chris!"

*Campers, interns, Chris and various viewers are shown staring with mouths open some blocking there kids ears and eyes*  
Gwen: "You look good in red, lots of it"

Trent: "You have a nice life"

Harold: "You're not gay, that's a good thing"

Chris: "Who said that?"

Harold: "LeShawna did!"

Chris: "Chef go put LeShawna on the boat!"

*LeShawna is thrown on the boat*  
Izzy: "You're smart!"

Chef: "Can you come to the cave with me for a few hours tonight?"

*This time it is ignored*

Geoff: "You're almost as pretty as me!"

Bridgette: "I think your pretty fun"

Chris: "Bridgette go join LeShawna in the boat and say bye-bye to Geoff"

*Bridgette and Geoff about to kiss goodbye*  
Chris: "No!" "Bye Bridgette!"

*Bridgette is thrown on the boat and then the boat leaves for the whirlpool of death*

Chris: "What will happen next on Total Drama"

Chef: "Funny!" *Goes back to his cave* 

*Episode ends also sorry for short chapter, I was in a rush*


	5. Scream Like A Little Sierra

Chris: "Last time on Total Drama Funny A bunch of Homos were voted off yada yada yada, what will happen next blah blah blah Theme song please!"

*Theme song starts*  
*Theme song turns in to the Twilight zone*

Chef: "Ha! Beat that McLain!"

*Twilight zone turns into Chef's home videos about him using the bathroom*

Intern: "Wow…."

Chef:*Blushing* "Fine you win but still no theme song!"

Chris: "Attention all campers it is time for your first real challenge."

Izzy: "Which is...?"

Chris: "The Horror challenge!"

*Campers arrive at dock of shame to see a man in a hockey mask cut Chris's arms legs and testacies off*

*Geoff and Sierra scream there hearts out*  
Chris: "Your both out of the challenge! Who ever scream's WHENEVER is out of it"

Geoff: "Where do we go now?"

Chris: "Your corners, you both get a ******** time out" *Mumbles* "Dib-****"

Sierra: "OMG LOL WTF Chris"

Chris:?

Chef:?

Interns:?

Chris: "Anyone understand that?"

All campers: "Nope"

*Intern comes with papers hands to Chris:*

Chris: "Oh… well... Sierra go **** yourself"

Sierra: "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Chris: "You're out… again"

*As the day continues Cody screams because he pees in front of the camera and all but Trent, Gwen, Duncan, Izzy and Heather are the only ones who have not screamed by 4:30*

Chris: "I didn't want to do this but…"

*Confessional*

Trent: "Whatever it is it can't be scarier then Gwen and Duncan kissing that was just... Frightening."

Duncan: "If it's Courtney I'll scream my ass off"

*Confessional over*  
Chris: "It's Eva!"

*Heather screams*

*Lindsay screams*  
Lindsay: "I may not be in the contest chip but she's so scary!"

Chris: "First it's a challenge and second Eva is back in the game… For now"

Eva: "Traitors!"

Chris: "That technically counts as a scream so you're out"

Duncan: "Hey what the? *Harold kicks him in the nuts and runs*

Duncan: "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" "I'll kill you Doris!"

Chris: "Gwen, Trent, Izzy you have 5 minutes to stay with out screaming"

Izzy: "Cool!" *Saying that extremely loud*  
Chris: "K Izzy you screamed you're out"

Gwen: "I won this for sure."

Chris: I have a video it's so ugly you will both scream but the louder scream loses"

(Shows video of Chef going to the bathroom)  
Gwen: "!"

Trent: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

*Confessional*

Gwen: "Wow, I thought I had seen everything, I only did that girlish scream so Trent would feel good!"

Trent: "One good thing, since I'm a musician I'm trained not to scream very loud"

Chris: "Trent wins!" "Now pick your favorite two losers and vote them off!"

*Ceremony*

Chris: "Okay I said two but I couldn't resist this chance"

Chris: "All but Eva, Sierra and Duncan get a marshmallow"

Sierra: "WTF! *Jumps off the Clift and is seen in front of a rock climbing under it* Mumbling "mine mine mine!"

Duncan: "You said two people are eliminated!"

Chris: "Eva doesn't count as a person!"

*Duncan grabs Lindsay's marshmallow and eats it*

Chris: "Well since you grabbed it I guess your safe, Lindsay good bye"

Geoff: "Harsh"

Trent: "Better her then me"

Duncan: "Doris come here…"

Harold: "No!"

*Harold runs as Duncan attempts to take his Marshmallow*  
*Episode fades out*  
Izzy: "Tune in next time for a Special episode!"

Chris: "That's my line!"

Intern: "You know Blainily was supposed to host this show"

Chris: "Goodbye!" *Throws intern into boat and throws explosive into it killing him and the seagull with soda can wrapper around its neck*


	6. Total Drama Funny Aftermath

Last time on Total Drama Funny, Eva, Lindsay and Sierra were voted out BUT since Chris over spent his budget he had to make another aftermath show! 

"I'm your host Bridgette!"

"And I'm your temporary Co-host Tyler!"

Bridgette: "What did I say about talking!"

Tyler: "You told me not too"

Bridgette: "Good now next time you talk I'll feed you to the sharks and chickens"

Bridgette: "Now before I say ANYTHING we have a surprise visit from several in-game campers."

Bridgette: "Now are first guest was shoved with me in the boat of losers, LeShawna!

LeShawna: "Hey ya'll I'm in the house!

Justin: "Shut up!"

Bridgette: "Why yare you telling her to shut up! She just got here!"

Justin: "I'm speaking to Courtney boy is she loud"

Courtney: "I haven't been talking!"

Justin: "There she goes on again"

Bridgette: "I see what you mean"

Bridgette: "Anyway we have a lot of guests so the unloved ones by there families get one question only"

Bridgette: "Are you taking the fall for Harold?"

LeShawna: "Yes, he made me laugh my guts out"

Bridgette: "Good next guest please!"

Bridgette: "Noah what is 2+2?

Noah: "What does that have to do with anything?"

Bridgette: "Damn you Noah you got it right again!"

Noah: "Are you even listening to me let alone talking to me?"

Bridgette: "Hahaha you're so funny!"

Bridgette: "Time for our only popular segment, Total Drama Fugitives!

Bridgette: "Sierra was last seen leaping into a rock"

Tyler: "DJ, Sadie, Katie, Eva and the interns were near Chef's cave when they disappeared, now time for my favorite segment that's gonna leave a mark!"

Bridgette: "You really must like those chickens"

*Shows Lindsay poke her eye with lip gloss*  
*Shows Lindsay get run over by a parked car*  
*Shows Owen get hit in the eye by vomit*

Bridgette: "Speaking of Lindsay she's our last and only cared about guest!"

Noah and LeShawna: "Hey!"

Bridgette: "Get over yourselves! You have like 7 fans each!"

Noah: "I have 9!"

Lindsay: "Where's Tyler?"

*Tyler opens his mouth to speak but Bridgette pinches it closed*

Bridgette: "I don't know look around Lindsay"

Lindsay *facing Courtney* "Tyler!" *Begins to kiss Courtney*

Katie, Sadie, Eva and Noah: Ewww!

Courtney: "Get off of me!"

Justin: "There! There! She talked again! See!"

Bridgette: "I can not work under all of this!" *Storms off*  
Tyler: "Bridge! Where you going!" "All of what?" *Runs after her*  
Lindsay: "Tyler I just remembered that's Tyler! "Sorry Geoff we just can't be together." Lindsay blushes *facing Courtney*

Justin: "Don't even think about- *Courtney attacks Justin*  
Noah: "Cat fight"

Eva: "This is my only line? Well better make it count, I love you _!

Katie: "No he's mine!"

Sadie: No mine!"

Beth: "Your both wrong SHES mine!"

Lindsay: "Chris is a girl!"

Beth: "Were not talking about Chris Lindsay…"

Chef: "I shouldn't be here just came to interrupt the theme song.

Beth: "You're a little late for that."

Chef: "3…2…1…"

*Theme song starts*  
Chef: "Yargggggggg"

*Theme song ends*

Beth: "Fine… god I hate it when I'm wrong!"

Chef: "Join us again for another Total Drama- *Is hit in head by a pound cake*  
Intern: "Fish sticks!"

Courtney: "Get that intern out of here!"

Owen: "Funny!" "Wait am I to late for the show?"

*Episode ends*


	7. Author's Note

***Authors Note***

Total Drama Funny Behind the scenes!

Okay first guys if anyone even reads this crap I will be using more "Adult rated" whatever that means material. More Curses, Awkward scenes and of course some type of Sex gone wrong

I Will also be doing one thing for the people who watch this there is a contest where you can make your own character and have him/her be in the show for a day (Will be a co host) All you need to do is be my 7th Reviewer and say something nice and not cheesy. There are two ways to win #1 Be the 7th reviewer or #90000000007261 have a better comment then the 7th reviewer (I went through A LOT of options in my mind)

I will then Contact you over the website and ask you for certain information about your person Like if his/her body is likely to survive being burned in a furnace after being murdered or the dead body being found after being murdered or being found dead because a camper or me bored him/her to death. The Contest starts as soon as you are done reading this very bad excuse for an authors note.


End file.
